The Lovely Goldfish.

(a poem by my esteemed pal Bernard)


My goldfish hath flown
And I am alone
With my waterproof computer
To live in this desolate tank

Alone.
In a tank.
Which is dark.
And dank.


OK, I hate to confuse you by all this complexity, but this is me again, the original narrator. I always wanted a goldfish. But my parents said no. One day, when I could no longer hold back, I went out and bought myself a goldfish. I named him Bernard. Man, we had some good times.. Hiding under the covers at nighttime after Mommy tucked me in. We used my Barney-themed flashlight/LoveStick from my McDonald's Happy Meal to read comic books together in the dark. Well anyway, to cut a long story short, Daddy brutally murdered Bernard in a fit of DayQuil-induced rage. So the moral of this harrowing tale is this: Just because medication is over-the-counter DOESN'T MEAN it's safe. Always read the fine print even if it eventually blinds you. And if you can't read the fine print because you're migraine's that bad, tough. You'll just have to deal with having no relief. Let this be a lesson to all of you idiotic, over-trusting, sheep-like consumers.